Too Much, Never Enough
by VixenOfTheWolves
Summary: LeoCENTRIC drabble. Leo was only a perfectionist because he had to be. To free his brothers of that burden. To allow them to be themselves, to be human. To save them from his fate.


Hey everyone. This is my first time writing a TMNT fic and so please forgive me if it sucks. And also I haven't seen the series in at least ten years, so have only really the CGI movie to go on. And the song doesn't have a lot to do with the fic I just thought that it suited Leo.

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_I took a walk around the world  
To ease my troubled mind  
I left my body laying somewhere  
In the sands of time  
But I watched the world float  
To the dark side of the moon_

Leo stepped out of the doujo, doing his best to suppress a glare. His brothers were outside in the living room, Mikey was watching wrestling, Don next to him, and Raph was just standing by. Each looked up as he walked past and Leo hated the looks on their faces. Mikey just looked over curiously before shrugging him away for his show. Don watched him, his gaze scrutinising. And Raph. Raph was glaring at him, his whole body tensed and ready to fight.

_I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah_

Leo heart ached as he looked at his brothers. At these people. People who didn't even know him anymore. Because he was too busy. Trying to be perfect. For them.

_I watched the world float  
To the dark side of the moon  
After all I knew it had to be  
Something to do with you  
I really don't mind what happens now and then  
As long as you'll be my friend at the end  
_

He knew that he had to be perfect. To save them from that burden, allow them to make mistakes.

Allow Don to hold back because of his dislike for fighting.

Allow Mikey to be the jokester he is.

Allow Raph to make rash decisions and lose himself in his anger.

Because if he was perfect then he could allow them to be themselves. He would be able to save them not only from their physical enemy but the darkness that lurked. Just waiting to swallow them up. As it had him.

_If I go crazy then will you still  
Call me Superman  
If I'm alive and well, will you be  
There a-holding my hand  
I'll keep you by my side  
With my superhuman might  
Kryptonite  
_

Raph was yelling at him now. Something about being an arrogant suck-up. He didn't know, he wasn't really listening. Shell, he wasn't even looking at him! But Raph was always like this. He took his hurt and anger out on others and it was better that it was on him rather than their brothers.

_You called me strong, you called me weak,  
But still your secrets I will keep  
You took for granted all the times  
I never let you down  
You stumbled in and bumped your head,  
If not for me then you'd be dead  
I picked you up and put you back  
On solid ground  
_

If he was perfect he would be able to take it all in, all their hurt, anger and insecurities.

But Leo knew. He wasn't perfect. For years he had strived for that one goal. And each time he got just that little closer it jumped another ten feet higher, leaving him struggling to catch up.

His brother's called him a perfectionist. But he wasn't. If he was perfect then he would be able to protect them. If he was perfect maybe their father wouldn't look at him with such disappointment. If he was perfect then he wouldn't scream his heart out into his pillow in the middle of the night.

_If I go crazy then will you still  
Call me Superman  
If I'm alive and well,  
Will you be there a-holding my hand  
I'll keep you by my side  
With my superhuman might  
Kryptonite_

But his brothers didn't see that. They seemed to think he was too perfect.

But how was it possible that one person could look at him as though what he was wasn't enough while another as though he was too much. So which was it?

Leo had tried and failed. He had lost himself to the abyss between too much and too little. Maybe, Leo though, that there was no happy medium. That there was no perfect, only a deep dark abyss full of demons that grab you and hold you there as you slowly turn into one of them.

And Leo knew that it was impossible to go back now. He would always be too much and that was never enough.

_If I go crazy then will you still  
Call me Superman  
If I'm alive and well, will you be there  
Holding my hand  
I'll keep you by my side  
With my superhuman might  
Kryptonite  
Yeah!!_

_If I go crazy then will you still  
Call me Superman  
If I'm alive and well,  
Will you be there a-holding my hand  
I'll keep you by my side  
With my superhuman might  
Kryptonite  
Yeah!!_

* * *

Okay, how was it? All reviews accepted except flames. So constructive critisicm and all that are cool and appreciated. And the song for those who don't know, Is Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down. R&R


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